How I remember home
Countless images flood my mind when I think about home, each of them as alive as it was then, I see rain pouring down outside the windows, I hear sounds of celebration and music coming from the outside, I remember how I used to close all windows and curtains darken the entire room whichever I am in during the day to create the kind of ambience I felt has a feel or story to it, I remember how the light passing through those orange curtains would darken yet lighten up the room with an orange shade creating a dramatic light effect.
I can see myself getting down the rickshaw every afternoon returning home from school, the kind of joy I had on my face every time I reached home after school, I can see myself looking at the balcony of my house as soon as I got down and smiling happily to be back at my kingdom, I would go running in the complex, up the stairs and into my house in no time, I remember how neighbor’s used to have the key of my place as nobody used to be there at my house, mom at work, brother living in a different city, It actually was my Kingdom until mom came home by evening, so I used to collect the key open the lock in a hurry cause I was so excited every time I came back, knowing there are treasures inside and I am about to have fun, Knowing I could relax and be at ease, do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. It’s not that mom stopped me from doing anything but being alone is some freedom on its own. I would throw my bag in one corner, my shoes in another, my tie in another, switch on the TV either watch my favorite cartoons or play my PlayStation, pure joy. I don’t remember I felt joy like that recently in months or maybe years. I would have my food, read some books, go play out with friends or watch a movie or just chill at my crib the way I want it.
I have never seen it rain so magically the way I used to see it from my balcony or through the windows, my balcony was a huge one, kind of size of a room itself, it had those grills on so a child like me who climbs up the wall to see below or outside wouldn’t fall also this huge sliding windows which I would slide to one side, put my legs through the grill and sit there watching rain, soaking in all the amazing it was at that moment, sometimes sipping on tea or hot chocolate, need to mention made by me, I was quite a self-reliant kid I could hold my flag while I was alone, that’s some pride right there (haha). I have rarely seen sunsets so amazing as those I saw from my house, the one’s I saw from the terrace of my building, those mountains by the horizon, open grounds around, some concrete jungle and as if people returning to their caves after a long day of hunting on streets, either shopping or hanging around whatever it maybe, birds flying around, Each year during the winters I could see flamingos fly over my building towards their destination water reserve as they migrate each year from Russia to India during that time. Summer afternoons and evenings were a bliss, afternoons were spent inside the house in all comforts of cool air and good company, evenings out there doing all sorts of things till mid night and beyond. Call it the awe and wonder of a kid back then but those images are so vibrant I am waiting to see such sunsets, rains in the future because as a kid I was star struck.
Call me a rain junkie if you want but I was and I am crazy about rains, every year I drench myself in the first showers of the season, I stay out there until it gets over,
the first showers are a celebration for me, as soon as the first showers of the season used to hit the earth I would leave everything I am doing, wherever I maybe, whatever the time may it be I would go out running and drench myself totally, sometimes it used to get real dense cloudy while I was at the school at the beginning of the season and I used to pray to god please don’t let it rain until I get out, just don’t, few more minutes or hours or whatever somehow magically it never did, as soon as the final bell used to set off I would run out of my classroom, down the staircase into the open, then it did then it used to start raining, the way I felt back then is irreplaceable, those feelings cannot be replaced by any other, the kind of joy it was brings tears to my eyes right now (haha) the feeling was of being blessed and being the chosen one.
I grew up Junior college came, my kingdom was still my kingdom, just some other activities got added to the daily schedule of the kingdom affairs, my friends kept visiting me like they used to when we were kids, my place was like a second home to them, It was all young blood flowing through that house so the energy in there was always upbeat, crazy, loud and constantly flowing never a dull moment in there. We used to party, watch movies, plan outdoor activities like hiking etc. my house was the meeting point before we left for doing something, everything used to get planned there, sort of round table meetings but without the round table. My terrace was one amazing place to be at night, full of stars, city lights down there and all
sorts of sounds coming from everywhere but still a midst all that it was peaceful windy, breezy and cool at the top every single time, a lot of my time during the final few years of my stay at that particular house was spent up there, I will never ever in my life ever forget the amazing sky patterns, sunsets, weather bands I saw from up there.
That house was pure magic, the tons of things that I have experienced there, the amount of life I lived there, actually feeling alive in all my senses, breath and cells cannot be ever mentioned or be told in one single blog of such a short length, I can keep going on and on if I allow those memories and experiences flood me while I write this, they are flooding me right now but somehow I need to contain them for now, wow! I am deeply thankful for the inspiration that came from somewhere which got me writing this, as if I had forgotten a part of myself recently, but while I am writing this at the moment all of it is so much alive in me right now.
I feel breathing right now, The immense emotions I feel right now are overwhelming, how could I forget my own joyful nature, I was this joyful explorer back then, I still am but as now I remember my face while I went on my first hike, reaching home after school, drenching myself in the first showers of the season, completed reading my first novel ever, played the best video game ever, the music blasting out from all the speakers in my house, the kind of fun me and my friends were having, dancing etc. The upbeat energy that we had 24*7. The zeal of growing up as if unlocking a new level every time and celebrating it each day, new things to do with every level, when I remember that particular face the joy is boundless, the memories are endless, that house was at the center of all those experiences it played the best part ever, whatever I am today as a person, whatever I grew up to be, it’s that house that built me, I spent 12 yrs. of my life growing up there no matter what that particular house will always remain home for me and my family, even my friends will forever remember that house as my only home ever (haha) even they miss being there.
Even though when I say home I would refer to that quote which says “home isn’t a place it’s a feeling” on a larger picture that city was my home, on an even grand scale the world is my home, its more about the people in your life, the memories you make, the experiences you share, the smiles you exchanged, the times you loved life, the time when everything was a celebration, the time when you and the people in your life were around for each other for the good and bad in life, it’s about all those echoes of laughter you can clearly hear right now from the past you shared with those around you, when I think about those days the song that comes to my mind is the song from the movie Spirit, This is where I belong – Bryan Adams, word by word my every single feeling about my home, I used to love that song back then and I am listening to it right now while I type this. I am glad I wrote this blog made me think over something very important, the essence of my growing up, which is joy, pure joy, today I make a note to myself never ever forget that even for a second and I encourage all of you to make this same journey right now and see that face of yours which was made of pure joy, just grab hold of it once and for all, I am going to do the same cause there’s nothing else that will make me as joyful as that will. So here’s to memories and the joy of living, the joy of growing up and unlocking new levels in life, enjoy the play, keep that happy face.
Wow, this was very touching! I loved the details of your memories that created such vivid illustrations, and the amout of honesty and love that went into this piece not to mention how well you made a point about understanding ones past and experiences as something to celebrate! Good job Abhi, keep writing it’s definitely one of your strong points!
~ Shauna 🙂 ❤
no words to say about it. …….