Winter Chronicles: The Self talk
As the midnight is nearing I am nearing to peace and this is the only time of the day when I am in general at the creative best of mine, in touch with the feelings of creation in me and I want to create so many things.
The day is a big struggle, I wake up as if I am pushed into a small sized bottle, forcefully with ill force and I am contained in the reflection of nothingness but just my thoughts, I wake up in the cage of my own nightmares, I wake up with the wish to sleep again, wishing I would fall asleep again and remain in the peace that dwells in the nothingness of sleep.
The only reason I sleep each day is to end another day and gain another night to think, to feel creative and to feel at ease with my own self. With each passing day it has become difficult for me to contain myself, in a book that I am reading recently by a Brazilian author a character said and I quote “Madness is the inability to communicate your ideas” it struck a chord, made me think of the madness I am going through and how very accurate that sentence is, I thought.
Each day it’s not a new beginning, it’s just another long trail of light waiting to meet the darkness that lays at the end of the line, all day long I await the reunion of my soul with my body, the day has too much of noise, noise of priorities that are to be taken care of which my soul distastes utterly with all my heart. Mechanically it pumps blood, the beats are merely the movement of walls inside.
One such winter evening, and a part of how I saw it that day.
With each crimson sunset the melody of the warm golden light enters through my eyes, providing me with the warmth, comfort and stillness, like the soft shimmering light of a wick lamp my heart sways merrily in the cold of the night, beautifully contemplating over the amazing creations it longs to create. While I am typing this I am listening to Coldplay and it’s another enchanting cold winter night, the music sounds 10xtimes better than usual, as if the notes are playing inside me, the song is playing within me and the melody is quenching an unquenchable thirst, a quote comes to my mind “It’s both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so very deeply”
I have a dream to make everyone feel the way I do, let them see how I see, let them feel everything as deeply as I feel and maybe then they will open their world to me and let me see how and what they see, make me wonder at the sight of this new world I am seeing and again let them know how I feel about their world as deeply as I see it, the cycle continues and the world looks in amazement at everything around us.
This is my idea and this is my madness, every single night is an opportunity for me to figure out how will I communicate my idea, how will I make this dream come true and when will my expressions find a medium of communication, I am determined to find way, cause my dreams are my world, there’s nothing else I want, all I want is to make them come true. I will end this blog post of mine with a quote that fills me with full of hope.
“There’s one great truth on this planet, whoever you are or whatever it is you do, when you really want something it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe, it’s your mission on earth. To realize one’s own personal legend is the only real obligation of a person”.