An Apology : Care while you can
This morning I woke up to a very pleasant yet a very bizarre dream, The only visuals that I remember from the dream clearly are enough for me to describe what I am feeling exactly at this very moment.
In my dream I saw my dog “Om”, yes I named him after the Holly Indian syllable Om as it clearly portrayed his ever joyful nature, with full of energy 24/7. So I saw Om drinking water from his vessel in the balcony of my house and I was just standing there watching him as I just had poured some fresh water into it for him to drink. As soon as I poured the water into the vessel even before I finished pouring it whole he started drinking from it, like he always did whenever he is extremely thirsty or his usual love for fresh water made him do that, it was a fun sight to watch every single time.
While gulping down the water as fast as he could and filling his mouth with water more than it can contain he had to look up so as avoid the water overflowing from his mouth, as appeared it clearly wasn’t working, from all sides of his mouth the water was spilling out, wetting his hairs and whiskers but he joyfully being really thirsty continued drinking with top speed. In the background I could hear my Mom saying “Look at that poor baby how thirsty was he, Shame on you Abhishek you kept a speechless being thirsty for so long, how can you forget pouring water frequently?” I said “I know I am sorry, I was in a hurry I just missed out on this” then she said “What if someone does this to you?” in response to that I said “alright alright won’t happen again I will be careful”. Though that wasn’t the last time such a thing happened, I sometimes forgot to give him food on time and water was missed out frequently, Gladly Om was smart enough to smack his water container with his paws so hard that from the balcony it straight away flew into the living area right in front of me and then I would give him water immediately after that, No harm done life went on smooth for us both with fun and a hell lot of craziness.
There were times when I couldn’t take him out for a walk due to being really busy or extremely careless, I could see the disappointment in his eyes when I returned home but still he would greet me with all the joy he contained, wagging his tail at the speed of light, jumping across the house, flipping around and all the joyful gestures of love a speechless being can do to express sheer joy at the sight of you, to be honest they can express things way better than what words could do, as the saying goes “Action speaks louder than words”. I would promise myself often that I will be more careful, I will never skip on his walks and will not forget about his food timing, before I go hang out with friends or something I will make sure all his needs are taken of, after all for a Dog or any pet you are the only family they have, he was considered the same in my house, I treated him like my younger brother, he ate what I ate, He slept where I slept and so he also faced the consequences of his elder being careless about him (haha). Time went on things remained the same nothing changed but well he was all healthy and dandy like always, we kept having as much fun as possible, we were two crazy souls who sometimes got to the nerves of each other.
Everything was great, Until once he felt sick cause of some flu virus and was not eating enough, not drinking enough, I was very worried about him, he was family and I wanted him to get well as soon as possible, we got a vet to do a check on him, he prescribed the medicines etc and we took as much care as possible. I would take him to walks more often than usual during that period, I will play ball with him or taking him to the terrace of my Apartment complex to breathe some fresh air at the top of the world.
He was recovering fast, getting playful again, energy levels were reaching its optimum too and I was happy at the flipping sight of his, destroying every piece of fabric in the house, eating on shoes and pissing on my PlayStation, well it fairly annoyed me, I pulled a gentle slap across his mouth for that, cause sometimes there are boundaries and you cannot Piss on a PlayStation. During his recovery I promised him that I will continue this good caretaking all the way even after you recover. Then happened the unexpected, me and my family decided to move to some other city and due to some reasons which I cannot mention here because they are very personal, I had to give him up. Now I accept it was very painful for me, I did not even go to see him off on the day we gave him up, my Mom took him to my aunt until we found a new owner for him. I could not bear the thought of giving him up to someone else and so I could not face the situation and I went out with friends did not return until the night dawned upon the empty balcony of my empty house which now was vacant entirely, only walls with memories from the past echoing in the silence of the night. Neither was I strong enough to say good bye to the house that built me nor was I strong enough to say good bye to my brother from another breed and the greatest companion I ever had during all walks of my life. The pain was much more than just of giving him up, the pain that I was bearing was the pain of regret, the pain of an unfulfilled promise, the pain of that I lost the chance of giving him exactly what he deserved for the honest friendship he treated me with. Too heavy for me to bear cause I know this is a mistake I cannot correct for my entire life to come, the time has passed and I failed to keep my promise, may seem like a small thing but it means a lot to me.
This incident taught me something, something very meaningful and useful in life, something that will help me being alert in keeping everything in place in future, the lesson that I learnt was “Care while you can, do when you can, be there for someone when you can, do the right now when you have the time and the people dear to you are still with you, hold no anger, disappointment or resentment talk it out and sort it out, Be there for them until time gives you the liberty to be, you never know when things will change, when you will have to part and if you love them or care for them show them now, with all your might care while you can cause you never know when you will lose the only chance of full filling the promise you made to them and yourself of keeping them happy or giving all the joys you want to bestow them with, all the support you are ever dreaming of giving to the dears ones around you, the only time you have is now, So care while you can.”
Man! Om I don’t know where you are at the moment, I can’t visit you in person for your own good, but you were the best brother I ever had, the best dog I will ever have, my best friend of all time, in the hall of fame of my Dogs from the past and the coming future you will always be on the top, I am going to make a big frame of yours and keep you on the top of the wall, I am deeply sorry for being careless sometimes, I wish I could come and say this to you in person but I cannot for your own good. It was not in my power to keep you with us otherwise you know I would have never let you go, you were family and you will always be, If ever there comes a biography on me, your name will be in the special mentions.
This blog is an apology and a way to lift the burden I have been caring around for a while and my purpose of sharing this story from my life was just to convey the lesson I learnt from it, it’s a very valuable one and will apply in everybody’s life, the sole purpose of this blog was just to convey what I learnt and to apologize to my companion of all time. Brothers for life. Remember “Care while you can”